It is a tradition every year that I post my favorite holiday movies, and this year that list is 30 movies deep with a few changes from last year. How you say? Well I watched a few that I hadn't seen before to get the season started and decided to revamp my list and I dropped a couple out, but they were borderline last year anyway. No holiday shorts or animated specials now, all films.Other people may have their top 10, maybe even 20... but this jolly old fat man will give you 30, people! Suck on that Santa! Let's get started shall we?
My Top 30 Holiday Movies
30. Eight Crazy Nights (2002) (reviewed here) - OK, so it's pretty crass, crude and totally inappropriate for most of it, but I have to admit I laughed several times. Mainly because I'm immature but also just a bit because I found Whitey kind of funny. It makes the list because it's unique also.
29. Santa Claus (1985) - AKA Santa Clause The Movie, it stars Jon Lithgow and Dudley Moore and really goes back into the "history" of Jolly Old St Nick combined with a more current day story. Also, now every time I see Lithgow in something I think of him as the Trinity killer on Dexter instead of the preacher/dad on Footloose. Cool.
28. Christmas in Connecticut (1945) - It's stars Barbara Stanwyck of Big Valley fame and it's got some good laughs and of course a holiday message. You've gotta keep some old school stuff on your list. "Good morning; Merry Christmas. I hope I'm in time to see you flip the flapjack."
27. Jingle All The Way (1996) - OK, I know it's way corny and all but c'mon it's got the Gov, Phil Hartman and Sinbad in it! You had to laugh at least once or twice? Phil Hartman rules and the whole commercialization of Christmas takes a shot to the ribs. I like it and I want a Turbo Man. "We get one day a year to prove we're not screw-ups and what do we do? We screw it up."
26. Scrooge (1951) - There have been many versions of this A Christmas Carol, but I like this one a lot, mainly because Alastair Sim is great as the old greedy miser. He's so good I can assume he spent the rest of his life after 1951 with everyone who met him actually thinking he was Scrooge.
25. Love Actually (2003) - OK, I know it's a chick flick and all but it's got a great cast and is a whole lot of fun for the holidays. Sue me. Snuggling up with some eggnog or hot choco and your woman while watching a chick flick isn't a bad way to go is it? Something tells me this will be moving up my list through the years. "All I want for Christmas is you."
24. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) - I think nothing says happy holiday like a killing rampage at an orphanage by an axe wielding Santa, does it? This film was the cause of a lot of protests when it originally came out. Cool.
23. The Ice Harvest (2005) - Another Billy Bob Thornton Christmas film, this one with one of my favorite actors John Cusack and directed by Harold Ramis. It's quirky and more about thieves and mobs than Santa and elves, with plenty of strippers and f-bombs. "Yo-ho-ho, mofo!"
22. Disney's A Christmas Carol (2009) (reviewed here) - A new addition! What makes this any different from all the other versions of this tale? The animation. It's a beautiful looking film, and a little creepy and dark too. Jim Carey is great as many of the voices. A new holiday classic for me. It might climb up the chart on repeated viewings.
21. Prancer (1989) - OK, I know it's a bit silly but Sam Elliot, Cloris Leachman and Abe Vigota lift it up and I always cheer at the end. A great, magical family film with Sam Elliot's great, magical mustache.
20. Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) (reviewed here) - The only reason I rated this fantastic film from the late John Hughes so low is that technically it's about Thanksgiving, but it's really about getting home for the holidays so I'm including it. John Candy and Steve Martin are awesome together. "Those aren't pillows!"
19. The Shop Around The Corner (1940) - I am a HUGE fan of Jimmy Stewart and this is a great one for the holiday where he's pen pals with a woman. Think an older, Christmas version of You've Got Mail minus the sexy Meg Ryan.
18. Diehard (1988) - If you're like me you need some action for your holidays, and Bruce Willis delivers in this guy movie of all guy movies. Yippe-ki-yay Santa Claus!
17. Scrooged (1988) - Bill Murray teamed up with Richard Donner for this often overlooked classic. So you're saying to yourself "Billy Murry used to be funny?" and I said yes, yes he did. A long time ago. "I get it, you're here to show me my past and I'm supposed to get all dully eyed and mushy. Well forget it pal, you got the wrong guy."
16. Fred Claus (2007) - It's sort of like Swingers meets The Santa Claus, with Vince Vaughan as Santa's jealous brother. Vaughan seems to deliver a lot of the blabbering ad-lib that he's so famous, and so funny, for. Paul Giamatti is a great Santa Claus and I love Kathy Bates, who plays Santa's mom. Sappy but fun.
15. Gremlins (1984) (See my blog right here) - Another Christmas-horror-comedy with more of an emphasis on comedy and cuteness. This is worth watching every year on Christmas just for Phoebe Cates story of how her father got stuck in the chimney. Also, every time I look at Phoebe I think of the swimming pool scene in Fast Times At Ridgemont High... and that puts me right back on the naughty list.
14. Trading Places (1983) - Jamie Lee Curtis as a prostitute in the funny 80s classic tale of Christmas and rich a-holes with more money than morals. Jamie Lee is hot and Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy are a perfect team in this Jon Landis directed classic. More boobs than stockings, but a Christmas film nonethless. Dan Ankroyd's drunk version is Santa is awesome. "I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no one liked me. I lost my job, I lost my house, Penelope hated me and it was all because of this terrible, awful Negro."
13. How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) - Yes, the 2000 live action version with Jim Carrey as the Grinch. I obviously don't think it's as bad as a lot of people seem to think. Director Ron Howard created and shot a very cool world that is Suess-worthy I think and Jim Carrey (who I usually find annoying) is actually pretty comical. A fun film.
12. Black Christmas (1974) - How could I put a movie on my list that's about a sorority house being terrorized by a stranger who makes frightening phone calls and then murders the sorority sisters during Christmas break? Well hear me out. I think it's a vastly overlooked slasher film. This was made before Halloween, which I consider the greatest slasher film of all-time. The trademark first person perspective, heavy breathing and many other things... done here first. This just happens to be set during Christmas, and it's a classic.
11. Santa's Slay (2005) (See my blog right here) - A Christmas-horror-comedy film with Bill Goldberg as a serial killing Santa who rides a sleigh pulled by a "Hell deer"? You betcha! This is seriously on my yearly "must watch" list. Over-the-top Yuletide goodness right here.
10. Home Alone (1990) - I used to really dislike this one but it's become a Christmas standard and it's made tolerable to me by Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern as the bumbling idiots who get owned by the annoying Culkin kid, who I would also leave home alone, often, if he were mine. But I wouldn't return.9. The Ref (1994) - It's ain't exactly the little drummer boy, but Dennis Leary holds a family hostage at Christmas during a home robbery and drops so many yuletide nuggets you'll have eggnog shooting out your nose. "You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it." This movie is actually quite a bit more realistic as to what goes on at family gatherings than a lot of films.
8. Bad Santa (2003) - Brilliant dark comedy that will have you hoping Santa doesn't see you watching it to see what Billy Bob Thornton does next. He plays a despicable Santa while the late Bernie Mac and John Ritter assist with the laughs in this much naughtier than nice flick. "I slept with a woman who was unclean and got sick. All my hair fell out, so I had to get this fake beard."7. Miracle on 34th Street (1947) - An institutionalized Santa and Maureen O'Hara? That's all you need to know. There's a big cuteness factor in this classic as well.
6. The Santa Clause (1994) - I know it's stupid but I just like it for some reason. Probably Tim Allen's fun portrayal of a loser dad who becomes Santa. Too bad the sequels weren't as fun. "Well, isn't that a pretty picture, Santa rolling down the block in a PANZER! Well kids, I... I certainly hope you have been good this year, cause it looks like Santa just took out the Pearson home. Incoming!"
5. Christmas Vacation (1989) - Remember when Chevy Chase was funny? If you don't, watch this and you will. Randy Quaid steals a lot of scenes too as Cousin Eddy. "Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f'n Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of a-holes this side of the nuthouse!"
4. The Polar Express (2004) - Gorgeous animation and a good little tale for the kiddies. Fun stuff, although a bit cheesy, to remind you of the Christmas spirit. Tom Hanks does a great job on most of the voices. There are several nods to another favorite film of mine, Back To The Future. "Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."
3. Elf (2003) - Will Farrell is a perfect for this, meaning he's goofier than your Uncle Abe hopped up on hot apple cider. Zooey Deschanel is a doll in this film. "It's just like Santa's workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms... and everyone looks like they wanna hurt me."
2. It's a Wonderful Life (1946) - I guess I'm just a sucker for this Frank Capra classic from 1946. Jimmy Stewart is one of my favorite actors of all time and I've been watching it yearly as long as I remember. It always picks me up, something a lot of people need at the holidays. "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?"
1. A Christmas Story (1983) - What's not to like here? This film has probably been preventing kids from getting Red Ryder BB guns for Christmas for decades now. My only complaint is that I don't have a bunny suit like Ralphie to wear while I watch it. This is such a classic. I'm doubtful that any Christmas movie will ever top this as long as I live and no Christmas will be complete without a viewing. "Deck the halls with boughs of horry, ra ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra."Dis-Honorable mentions:
Christmas With the Kranks (2004)
Deck The Halls (2006)
Black Christmas (the 2006 remake, nowhere near as good as the original)
Silent Night, Bloody Night (1974)
You Better Watch Out (1980)
Surviving Christmas (2004)
Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure (2003)
